THE TALE OF A TENT

My view from over the grill. I took this photo the next morning while the couples inside slept peacefully. The tent was closer than it appears in the photo.

More than a little agitated at someone camping so closely when my end of the park was empty except for me, I watched as two couples exited the car and erected the tent you see on the right. Now, since I'm a very observant fellow due to years of anthropological training, etc., I noticed two things about the couples:

• They looked like college students.
• One of the girls had enormous breasts.

I went back to my beer and my book and paid no more attention to the couples. Their tent erected, they stayed on the side opposite me and I heard not a sound from them. Dusk came. I forgot about the tent and the couples. I lit a charcoal fire in my campsite's metal grill. Darkness came, the burning coals glowing and flickering like orange candles. I put a link of pork sausage and a foil-wrapped chunk of garlic bread on the grill. And so I soon stood there in the darkness, looking down at the glowing coals and occasionally turning the sausage and the bread and thanking the Good Lord for beer and blues and thinking about the wonders of nature and how glad I was to be alive, etc.

For some reason I looked up. There sat the tent, no longer dark but brilliantly illuminated from within. On that bright white wall were cast two perfectly outlined and jet-black silhouettes, one on the right, one on the left. Each silhouette was a couple, I realized. The thought crossed my mind to tell them they should either extinguish their lantern or move it. But I said nothing. I looked back down, turning my sausage and bread.

I looked up again. The silhouettes were moving slightly. Then I noticed that a part of the silhouette on the left, a round protuberance, was moving rapidly up and down. Hummmm, I said to myself, that looks like large breasts bouncing up and down. Oh, my God! It is large breasts bouncing up and down! She's sitting backwards in his lap!

The thought crossed my mind that voyeurism isn't a nice activity. But the devil won.

To make this long story short and to avoid offending anyone let me just say that by careful use of well-honed anthropological skills, I noted these facts:

• The couple on the right stayed in a semi-missionary position and enjoyed each other and the show on the left.

• The couple on the left tried every sexual position known to man, at least to this man, and enjoyed each other and the show on the right.

• They all did all of the above for at least thirty minutes.

• I burned my bread but not my sausage.