Over on the right that's me and my buddy Christy Oldham. The picture was taken in September 1996 near Plaquemine, Louisiana, on a ferry out in the middle of the Mississippi River.

I've lived most of my life in Tullos, Louisiana, on the 120 acres my great-grandfather homesteaded in 1907. I was born at 7 pm on November 14, 1942, in a small hospital in nearby Urania, Louisiana. Dr. T.L. Tannehill delivered me. Around 1976 the Tullos postal clerk accidentally put a letter addressed to my father in my box. I accidentally opened it.

Dr. Tannehill was retiring, the letter said, and closing out his books. Enclosed was a long-past-due bill for $50 for the delivery of John Lee Doughty, Jr. I paid it, making me, as far as I know, the only person to pay for his own birth.

I graduated near the bottom of my class at LaSalle High School of Olla, Louisiana, in 1960. In 1995, I graduated cum laude from Northwestern State University in Natchitoches, Louisiana. I started NSU in 1990 as a freshman. Wow, do I have stories. I even spent my first semester in a dorm.

I joined the US Navy in 1962 and served as a Fire Control Technician (as in firing missiles and guns) aboard the USS Lawrence, DDG4, until my discharge in 1966. I operated and repaired the ship's MK 118 Guided Missile Computers.

From 1967 to 1974 I worked as a Customer Engineer for IBM in Alexandria, Louisiana. I remember working on a IBM computer that had 64 k memory and rented for $1,000 a month. Memory, RAM, in those days was little iron donuts with tiny wires threaded through every little donut. Core Storage, it was called. To replace a Core Storage unit, for example if a tiny wire broke in the midst of all those tiny wires, cost $1,000 per k, i.e., 32 k cost $32,000.

In 1976, I opened a liquor store in Tullos. In 1988, I went bankrupt. A few months later, so did the bank.

I had heart attack #1 in 1982, #2 in 1992, and #3 in 1994. I finally quit smoking in 1997.

My mother died of a heart attack in 1980. I think of her every day.

MY DAUGHTER & MY DAD

In 2003 my father died at the age of 86. He was a victim of Alzheimer's. For several years his disease gave me and my sister almost unbearable hell.

I'm twice married and twice divorced. I'm bad husband material. There is no love interest in my life at this time. But y'all know what? I'd love to be in love again. If you're a non-racist skinny to chubby woman with a high IQ who likes to dance down ‘n' dirty to the blues and who can discuss Shakespeare and clean a hog, let's talk. Redneck preferred.

I have two younger brothers, Col. Robert A. Doughty of West Point, New York, and David W. Doughty of Columbia, Louisiana. I also have a younger sister, Kathryn D. Tyler who lives near me and saves her left-overs for me.

My dog, Sable, is a four-year-old border collie. She chases varmints at night out here in the woods and sleeps most of the day. In cold weather, she sleeps beside my bed. She wakes me when I snore. My cat, Black Cat, is a three-year-old tomcat. His sister, Dumb Cat, was recently killed by varmints.

I have a daughter, Kim Ganey, and a granddaughter, Claire Ganey. I love them more than I love life. I promise not to fill the Juke Joint with pictures of Claire even though she's the world's most beautiful child. Smartest, too.

Like Will Rogers, I never met a person I didn't like. There's something good in everyone.

Over on the right check out a close-up of me. If you'll notice, I'm a little long in the hair. I'm also getting a little gray in the hair, long on the forehead, and round in the belly. But, hey, after one bankruptcy, two divorces, and three heart attacks, I'm lucky to be here at all.

But y'all know what? I don't worry about what Redd Foxx called "the big one." I figure when the Good Lord's ready for me, He'll get me. I just hope He gives me a few more trips through the Delta.

When that big one comes, I hope I'm down in a dingy Delta dive dancing down and dirty with a dusky Delta dame.